


no matter what

by hufflebee



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-30 01:22:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10866105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hufflebee/pseuds/hufflebee
Summary: Alec often thought about kissing Magnus.Whenever Magnus would casually touch him, a hand of his arm, an arm wrapped around his shoulders, Alec would be overcome with warmth, feeling each touch throughout his entire body. Each touch left him wondering how his body would even contain him if Magnus ever kissed him.And whenever Alec thought about this, his mind barely registered the world around him, barely aware of anything existing but Magnus. Which was a wonderful thing, a beautiful world to have his mind focused on, a world consisting of only Magnus.Still, their English teacher didn’t really appreciate it.





	no matter what

**Author's Note:**

> hi? i'm not dead? i just keep forgetting to post fics on here, but this one is a bit longer so i thought i'd post it! if you want to read all my writing, including random short drabbles, follow my tumblr: hufflebee.tumblr.com

Alec often thought about kissing Magnus.

Whenever Magnus would casually touch him, a hand of his arm, an arm wrapped around his shoulders, Alec would be overcome with warmth, feeling each touch throughout his entire body. Each touch left him wondering how his body would even contain him if Magnus ever kissed him.

And whenever Alec thought about this, his mind barely registered the world around him, barely aware of anything existing but Magnus. Which was a wonderful thing, a beautiful world to have his mind focused on, a world consisting of only Magnus.

Still, their English teacher didn’t really appreciate it.

Today the teacher isn’t in the best mood, snapping at each little disturbance in the classroom, but that does little to deter Magnus from his usual behavior in class. This is the only class he and Alec share, and while Alec usually has no problem paying attention to any other lectures, the combination of the most monotone, uninteresting teacher at the front of the classroom and the most beautiful, distracting person sitting next to him results in Alec leaving each English class with very little idea of what was talked about. 

He is trying his hardest to hide the shiver caused by Magnus whispering in his ear when the teacher snaps at them yet again.

“Mr. Bane, please come sit up front, seeing as neither you nor Mr. Lightwood can seem to focus while sitting next to each other.”

A few people laugh under their breath or turn to watch them, and Alec really hates how easily he blushes. Magnus seems unbothered, picking up his bag and notebook and moving to the front of the class. But as soon as the teacher turns, Magnus shifts in his seat, facing Alec.

He mouths ‘sorry’, not looking it at all, and Alec can’t help but smile at him. For the next few moments, despite the physical distance between them, Alec is yet again lost in just watching Magnus.

Magnus, who is always walking with his head held high and determination in every step, who knows who he is and is the best friend Alec could ask for. Ever since they were kids, they were open and honest with each other. Alec was the first person Magnus came out to, and Magnus was that first person for Alec as well.  Not just then, either. Magnus has always been Alec’s person.

It wasn’t until last year that Alec realized his feelings for Magnus changed and grew into something he didn’t recognize at first. It wasn’t until Magnus had held his hand at a party, a casual thing, just a way to not lose Alec in the crowd, but it lit up Alec’s entire being and then it just clicked.

It wasn’t until that moment that Alec realized, while he has loved Magnus for most of his life, he was also falling in love with him.

And if he were thinking purely rationally, he knows he should tell him. He’s also seen more than enough teen movies with his siblings to know he should tell Magnus. But every time he thinks he might be able to do it, every time he takes a breath to tell him, something stops him.

And it keeps stopping him. Alec likes being certain of things, likes to plan ahead, likes to know what he’s getting himself into. With this, he has absolutely no idea. He has no idea if Magnus feels the same, no idea if Magnus could ever feel the same, no idea what would happen to them if he doesn’t, or even if he does.

He barely smiles at Magnus as he mimics the standard look on their teacher’s face, an expression of tiredness and irritation, and mouthing something Alec can’t decipher. When Magnus drops the imitation, his brows furrow a bit, worry setting in the lines of his face.

He mouths _you okay?_ at Alec, watching him like the answer was written across Alec’s face, which, to Magnus, it probably was.

Alec only nods and gives him a smile, one hopefully more convincing than the previous one. He gets caught up in thinking about his feelings and what he should or shouldn’t do about them, always ending up in a place of longing. Longing for the right thing to do, longing for the knowledge of Magnus’ feelings, longing for _Magnus_.

His answer does little to reassure Magnus, the worrying expression unchanging on his face. The bell rings then and everyone rushes to get out of class, the teacher included.

Only Alec takes his time packing up his things, trying to shake the sadness settling into his heart. When he gets up and glances at the door, he sees Magnus leaning against it, waiting for him.

“Text Izzy and tell her you’ll be home late,” Magnus says when Alec approaches him.

“Why?”

“Something is clearly bothering you and ice cream best friend therapy doesn’t work if you’re not there.”

Alec hesitates, knowing if he insisted he just needed to be alone, Magnus would respect that, but wanting to spend time with Magnus, even if it means completely avoiding talking about what’s bothering him.

“Okay, yeah, let’s go.”

* * *

When they get their ice cream and sit down at a table outside, one furthest away from anyone else, Magnus only lasts a couple minutes before speaking.

“Are you upset Mr. Branwell snapped at us?”

“No, of course not,” Alec says, because it’s a ridiculous guess, but then again, it was the most educated one Magnus could make.

“Is it something else at school, or your siblings, or your parents?”

Alec just shakes his head, poking his ice cream with the plastic spoon.

“Is it me?”

Alec’s eyes widen and set on Magnus, who looks so worried, even scared, like him being the reason Alec is upset would be the most awful thing in the world.  
Alec wants to say no, he really does, but he never lies to Magnus, never wants to lie to him, hell, he can’t lie to him. The only time he did was when Magnus asked if Alec liked Camille and Magnus saw through him immediately.

“It is, isn’t it?” And fuck, Magnus looks so sad, almost heartbroken, and that’s what finally gets Alec talking again.

“No, I mean, not really,” he stumbles out, and then takes a deep breath. “You haven’t done anything to upset me.”

Magnus nods, accepting that, but his expression barely changes. 

“But it does have something to do with me, right?”

Another deep breath.

“Yes.”

“Can you tell me what it is?”

Alec opens his mouth and the closes it when he realizes he has no idea what to say. It’s not the first time Magnus has noticed he was upset when this was the reason why, but somehow the conversation never got so close to the truth.

“Alexander, whatever it is, I want to know. There is basically nothing you could say that would change how I feel about you.”

Alec stares at his ice cream, half melted already, and tries to think of what to do, of what to say. His gaze shifts to the leather bracelet on his right wrist, a gift from Magnus a couple years back. The card that went along with it said: _I can’t always be right by your side, but I hope this will remind you that no matter what, I am your person, just as you are mine._

No matter what.

“Even if the way I feel about you has changed?” Magnus gives his a confused look, tilting his head to the side.

“What do you mean?”

“Whenever I space out in class, all I am thinking about is kissing you. And then I’m thinking about how much it would suck if I lost you because of that.”

Magnus looks stunned, his whole body frozen as he stares at Alec. Just as Alec opens his mouth again, Magnus gets up and dread bursts through Alec’s heart, gripping it, knocking the air out of his lungs.

But Magnus doesn’t leave. He moves to sit on the bench beside Alec, turning his body towards him.

“You are never going to lose me,” Magnus says, sure and earnest, before leaning in and pressing his lips against Alec’s. 

The grip around his heart breaks as his heart seems to grow ten sizes, his entire body so full of warmth he feels like he could burst out of his skin any second. Magnus’ lips are soft against his, each movement sending a shiver down Alec’s spine, and when they part, Alec feels like his brain has turned to mush, the only coherent thought being Magnus’ name.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for so long,” Magnus whispers, his voice raspier than before, and the smile that spreads across his face is the brightest thing Alec has ever seen.

“Wait, really?” Alec asks, looking at Magnus suspiciously.

“Yeah.” Magnus lets out a breathy laugh then, moving one hand to Alec’s cheek. His touch is so soft and gentle, as is the look Magnus is giving him. “I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve almost kissed you.”

“Feel free to not hold back from that anymore,” Alec says, his voice surprisingly calm even as his heart continues hammering inside his chest.

“Noted,” Magnus says and kisses Alec again. And again, and again, and for all the times Alec has imagined this, he never even came close to the real thing. Because there are not enough words to describe how this felt, but that’s okay. 

As long as Alec could keep kissing Magnus, he never needed them.


End file.
